


Nihal

by tehJai



Series: Lepus [1]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Angst, Body Worship, F/M, Patch 5.0: Shadowbringers Spoilers, Vaginal Sex, did I mention the angst?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:28:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22763215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tehJai/pseuds/tehJai
Summary: Nihal – β Leporis (Beta Leporis)Beta Leporis has the stellar classification G5 II. It is a yellow bright giant with an apparent magnitude of 2.84, approximately 160 light years distant from the Sun. Its traditional name, Nihal, means “quenching their thirst.”Her mind is fractured.  He tells a lie.  And then the truth comes pouring out.
Relationships: Urianger Augurelt/Warrior of Light
Series: Lepus [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1720030
Comments: 19
Kudos: 60





	Nihal

Tiona still wasn’t certain if the young man she was speaking to really was the soul of that man she’d faced down ages ago during the tumult in Ishgard, or if he was a figment of her very strained and very fractured psyche.

The spectre who maybe was Ardbert but who might have also been a hallucination, translucent in the Light that now shone from the skies because she had not been a deep enough font to take in all of the Wardens who threatened Norvrandt. Vauthry was gone, yes, but Tiona herself stood to become a much larger menace -- her days were numbered if both the hairline cracks that were starting to flash in and out of her vision,and the sounds of shattered glass ringing in her ears were any indication.  
  
She stood, weary, overlooking the gardens of the Crystarium and the lavender and violet hues of the Lakeland forests beyond. She’d passed out after besting Vauthry, somehow arriving back into the city, feeling like she’d been trampled in a chocobo stampede and with the daylight shining so bright it made her eyes burn to look at it too long.  
  
And that damnable, enigmatic Exarch had given the whole thing up, and of course--of _course_ \--

_Do not interfere._

Of _course_ Urianger had had a plan; and of _course_ he knew that she trusted him enough to let him enact it, he’d been getting her intel and getting her _results_ on all these hairbrained derring-dos with the Scions for years now; and of _course_ she would have been fine with sending that megalomaniac of a tower-keeper to his death--

Years together even before all of this, all those occasions when she’d requested that he seek and discover information had instilled that trust, and even when she collapsed on the marble at the summit of Mt Gulg, the primordial light leaking from her like a hemorrhage, it never wavered. Urianger had a _plan_ to save their world and Tiona was fully dedicated to seeing it through. He told her what she needed to know, and it usually worked out.

But something was not right. Something about the way he'd met her eyes and _begged_ the others to let everything take its course just seemed so desperate and unlike him. 

It was all so confusing, and she paced back and forth on the wrought-iron parapet, Ardbert chuckling slightly in surprise as she walked _through_ him. After a fashion, she stilled; her only movements the slight swivel of her leporine ears as the sounds of the city below continued to rise and fall; a normal day for those people, even if the Light had returned. 

A bit of movement was seen also in her nose, too, twitching at the scents of street vendors and gardens, of everything the Exarch had built at the base of this tower. Indeed, even a splintered star continued to turn, and life went on. Tiona sighed, peering through her vaguely cracked sight. 

“The people of this city have spirit, I’ll give them that.” Ardbert’s voice, even though she knew only she could hear it, was a touch tentative, and while he faced the markets below, ke kept looking over at her with concern marked all over his spectral face. “They’ve not lost the will to fight. I can imagine how torn you must feel, looking at that sky. Knowing what it means to everyone… and that you’re responsible.”

Tiona stopped her pacing and ran a hand over her face, her ears twitching in distaste. “Someone should explain it all --”

“If you’re thinking of coming clean, don’t. It might make you feel better, bu it would make things a hundred times worse for them. They’re better off not knowing. You’re in a corner, and there doesn’t seem to be any obvious way out.” He seemed to shrink from the scathing look the rava dealt him, and quickly continued: “...but that doesn’t mean it’s over. However hopeless it seems, you haven’t lost yet.”

And she _laughed_ , but it was a bitter sound. “No, not yet, but when I do, it’ll be a bad thing for everybody.” Shaking her head, she leaned on the wrought-iron fencing, red eyes casting skyward. It hurt, to be certain, to stare into that primordial Light, but she figured pain that made sense was a better thing to feel than all this _confusion_ and _anger_.

For a moment, it made her feel calm.

Ardbert seemed to catch on, and with a grunt that seemed at odds with the fact that he wasn’t corporeal at all, he sat down, leaning against a pillar as though he was real, and continued talking: “I remember looking up at the sky like this before─being caught up in a strange kind of calm. It was after we realized we were responsible for the Flood. When we resolved to journey to the Source by taking our own lives. One last sacrifice, one last fight...one last failure. And then, the Oracle appeared and...well. You know the rest.”

Nodding mutely, Tiona sat down right beside the beleaguered ghost of a warrior, motioning for him to continue; and he did, shifting his form slightly to face her. “There were times in the years and decades that followed when I wondered if we might not've been better off just letting the Rejoining happen. That we'd made one last mistake… But seeing that giant Talos stir to life cured me of any doubts I still had. Always. Always we took the burden of fighting upon ourselves. That's what heroes do, isn't it? So we never had the chance to see anything like that─our people, coming together as one. To think that their hope still burned so bright...That they were still so eager to live, they would lift up their fellows, one on top of the other, till they reached the sky.”  
  
Tiona shook her head. “But it _doesn’t matter_ what they do. If I break, it’s all over. For all of them. I wonder if both of us should just have not bothered.”  
  
Ardbert laughed. “No, we made the right decision. And I can finally feel proud of the part we played in helping this world survive.” He turned to her, fist held in her direction.

The rava just dealt him a look, wiggling her fingers in the air.

“Well?” He was _smiling_ over at her, and wiggled his fist a little by way of response. “Come on, then.”

With a monumental sigh, Tiona reached out to punch the air--

Instead, their fists connected; she could _feel_ the weight of resistance against her knuckles. In the wake of his little speech and in light of this, it was all Tiona could do to presume that he actually _was_ real and perhaps she wasn’t entirely losing her grip. She pulled back, staring at her hand, and then over at Ardbert. “...what.”

“As I thought. What happened between us was no coincidence. My story may be finished, but the fates have gifted me a minor role in yours. I suspected as much the moment I realized you could hear me. But it's hard not to doubt yourself when you're the man who caused the Flood...I was afraid to do anything more than watch for fear of making things even worse....But no longer. After all, the path I once walked is now yours to finish.”

Tiona sighed again. “That’s what it always comes down to, isn’t it?”

Ardbert laughed, reaching over to pat her on the back-- and his arm phased straight through her. Shrugging, he leaned forward to catch her eye. “For what it's worth, I cast my lot with yours. If you need a push, I'll be right there behind you; if you lose control, I'll do my best to stop you.” With another grunt, he got to his feet and gestured at her.

“So─let us be about it, _hero_.”

A sequence of events then unfolded that, in her present state, much like Ardbert’s persistent manner of… existing, she was unable to determine if it was wholly real. Lyna had let her into the Ocular, where the Crystal Exarch most certainly _wasn’t_ , and she had paced back and forth and back and forth, trying to make sense of the fragments of conversation she’d heard back up on the mountain and then--

The Echo caved in upon her, a searing pain through the back of her head, but again, one familiar enough and different enough from the low tinkling of glass that belied the torrent of world-ending Light she now carried--

_Crack_.

Suddenly, the world turned to shades of grey and there were _people_ in the Ocular: the Exarch, and Urianger. She wondered idly if this would give her the truth, and so she listened to their words, listened to everything coming from the mouth of someone so enigmatic and oddly interested in her -- she didn’t know who he was! -- and the _plans_ and the _scheming_ \--

“She was the lodestar that brought them all together, to send their final message back through time and space...to her. They said, ‘The light of your legacy was our torch in the darkness. Burn bright again...and live.’ I am merely the bearer of that wish, come to ensure it is safely delivered.”

She asked for _none_ of this. But here she was, full to bursting with the power to decimate the star once and for all, and her vision splintered, and she was so angry that she had been kept in the dark. Tiona had once been a soldier; she understood the value of being on a need-to-know basis. Sometimes the full picture wasn’t necessary. That was, as far as she was concerned, absolutely not the case here.

So she listened to their words, even through her cracked vision and she pleaded with herself to _calm down --_ there was her man on the ground, her _friend_ , the one she’d been most concerned about when he’d taken ill back on the Source. He was _brilliant_ ; surely he would know what to do.

He had gone from mild confusion, to realization, and then his face looked so utterly _defeated_ that it frightened her, even from her vantage point. He sounded as though he was mourning, which made sense, after all, hadn’t he told her that he’d seen --?

_Crack._

“Wherefore sharest thou this burden with me and no other? What wouldst thou have me say?”  
  
He had lied. Outright. Not a half-truth, not an omission. None of the things that she tolerated or even _required_ from him due to the nature of his work. A lie. She saw the pain in his face, the disbelief, the incredulity. But _he had lied_.

_Crack_.  
  
The Exarch mumbled something about accomplices. “'Twas you yourself who convinced me of your suitability when you spoke of how you learned of the Flood, and of your part in arranging Minfilia's journey to the First. Your actions showed uncommon resolve. 'Twas clear you were committed to the cause of saving this world.”

And then they _plotted_ to keep her from the _truth_. Urianger looked vaguely like he wanted to be sick all over the Exarch’s beautiful blue tower all the while, but he had agreed, and stood up, shaking slightly as though coming out of a dream.

From beneath a hood, the Exarch or G’raha Tia or whoever in the hells he was offered Urianger a sad smile.

“But there is another reason I chose you. Another reason I trust that you will do what is right.”

There was a dangerous _bitterness_ in the elezen’s voice. “...Do tell.”  
  
“It’s a simple thing, really. You love her.”  
  
In the Echo, Urianger staggered toward the door, and with a flash and the echo of broken, fallen glass, she was back with on her own two feet, her confusion replaced with anger, and then --And then her heart, aching. Her mind still felt pulled in a million directions all at once, but her _heart_ she could not ignore. Certainly she _cared_ for him, but _surely_ he wouldn’t even think of her that way.

Would he?  
  
Tiona was stuck in an odd liminal space between furious, justified anger and unabashed, finally-realized _love_ . It all clicked into place, like it was the final puzzle piece that would finally reveal the picture of all the disjointed thoughts and immeasurable feelings running through her mind: The feeling of loss and her subsequent worried vigil back on the Source (she had stayed there, at his side, until Krile had gently advised her that there was not much she could do). His pained face and desperate agreements kept replaying over and over again in her mind, images she couldn’t shake. With a few exceptions, she’d never seen Urianger be anything but mostly stoic, serious, or slightly amused. It terrified her.  
  
More pieces in the puzzle continued to slot in. The fact that the Exarch was right; if they _had_ told her, it truly all would have fallen apart. That it was _working_ , until the Ascian had showed up and thrown a spanner (more accurately, a bullet) into the whole proceeding, and that Urianger had _furiously_ bade the Scions to let it happen. He had not spoken like a man committed to a cause; his tone was the desperation of someone who _could not stand_ to see _her_ die.

She figured it as such, especially given that he hadn’t denied the Exarch’s proclamation.

Tiona needed to _find_ him, and she wasn’t sure what she wanted to _say_ to him. She spent the better part of a full bell pacing in the Ocular, furiously rehearsing a few options under her breath, and then once she tired of that, she meandered her way to the amaro launch to start making arrangements for what would inevitably come next.

She was not fussing about travel arrangements and securing supplies for very long before she _felt_ the presence of the Scions, her _friends_ , and --

Urianger, as he was wont to do, was the first to speak. “Ah. By thy looks, I gather thou hast gleaned that which I came to tell thee.”  
  
Tiona’s _looks_ had to have been something furious and conflicted; she couldn’t say anything by way of response, but her breath grew shallow and she stood there, chest heaving, her red eyes staring not at his face as she normally would do, but _through_ him.

The others were there, all of them, and none of them looked terribly surprised, although Ryne was half-hidden behind Thancred’s coat, occasionally glancing at Tiona with wide eyes. Hardly surprising, really, as she had been the one to basically cobble the rava’s mind back together, and Tiona herself had done her absolutely no favours to ensure that her remedies would last.  
  
Alphinaud, bless him, had to have seen the darkness in her face; he cleared his throat and offered her an adorably naive smile, as though _his_ words could fix it all: “Urianger has shared everything with us─the Exarch's true identity and purpose.”

It offered her no succor; her eyes were still staring through the aforementioned elezen and her heart was _pounding_. She could barely breathe, her psyche was so strained between two extremes. Her eyes widened as he took a step toward her--

And when, in a swish of fabric and the musical tinkling of chains, he fell to his knees at her feet, her helplessness at not knowing what to do intensified, but along with it came something base, and selfish. Her focus sharpened, and while she could not look into his eyes with the way he had his head bowed, the growing realization that had been fomenting in her oscillating psyche back in the Ocular slammed itself into honest reality. All at once she was _present_ in this Light-soaked world, and she _listened_ .  
  
He did it for a reason, after all. She should at least hear him out first, right?

“I offer no excuses. When I agreed to aid the Exarch with his plans, 'twas in full acceptance of the condemnation I would face when my duplicity was laid bare.”

She had to have let out a noise of some kind; he looked up at her, briefly, and in his eyes she swore she could see everything; he was here finally being honest and forthright. Still, her mind and its desires continued to vascillate and she still had no idea what to say--

_Say you love him. Because you do._

She did, however, take one small step forward, toward him.

He continued: “...Yet it is not rancor but resolve that I sense in thee. Thou art fully intent upon walking thy path to its end, art thou not? If thou canst forgive my deception─or, failing that, set aside thy displeasure for a time─I do beg leave to follow thee. What strength and wisdom I possess are thine to command.”

Another step forward and she almost - _almost_ \- reached for him. What he was saying spoke to a part of her that she’d all but ignored for years. And yet her anger was still there, still begging to be acknowledged. It seeped into the cold, furious tone of her voice when she told him: “No more lies.”

“Pray believe me when I say that I took no pleasure in deceiving thee. Indeed, I curse the circumstances which compelled me to do so... But no further secrets lie between us, I swear it.”

The other Scions may as well have ceased to exist for all Tiona could see in this moment, and as she stood there, mouth agape, still reeling from Urianger’s words, salvation came.

“We'll leave," Ryne insisted in the way only a teenager sensing interpersonal tension could, "once we've had a night's rest. We've got enough time for that at least. You need all your strength." The girl nodded firmly at Tiona, and actively set to shooing people away. While most of the ersatz Scions on the First and the now-rallied Crystarium citizens dispersed, the rava was left to stand, flat-footed, in front of a still-kneeling elezen. 

All at once Tiona felt her mouth go dry, her heart begin to race again, and anything at all she might have wanted to say to this principled, _beautiful_ man seemed trite. The arguments meant for him that she'd acted out by way of practice, pacing in the Ocular just then-- they all evaporated. The hairline cracks at the edge of her vision flexed--the Light within her seemed to strain and push at her boundaries for only an instant. 

"Why," she said as calmly as she could manage, "are you still here?" The realization she'd had in the Ocular, of the depth and breadth of _her_ feelings and what she knew of his (though she insisted that that had to have been some fiction from the hopeful corners of her mind), flitted through her mind again, and she tried vainly to keep her mind from thinking, and feeling, and _wanting,_ because there was no time for any of this and surely his interest was solely on the goal that they were all trying to reach--

"I must know if thou art _truly_ offering me thy forgiveness." Urianger's voice was wavering, desperate. Not unlike what she recalled hearing at the top of Mt Gulg; but that could have been her imagination, but this, this earnestness, she knew it was real, especially in light of all these recent revelations. He knelt still, head bowed, not meeting her eyes.

Tiona took a deep breath. "Truth be told, I'm not certain if I ought to punch you. Or kiss you.”  
  
At that, he looked up at her, a small grin spreading on his face. “Wouldst thou figure me for a cad if I hoped terribly for the latter?” He was usually so serious, but in the wake of her admission followed so soon by his, there was the barest hint of mirth in his golden eyes. “I had hoped to bring this to thine attention sooner, but there never seemed an opportune moment…”  
  
It was the truth, that it hadn't been one-sided at all. It was enough to make her stumble back against the railing as the realization hit. Her rage and animosity about lies continued to erode in the face of the real truth. “You should have. _I_ should have told _you_ the same thing.” Despite everything, despite the Light pounding at her soul and the cracks in her psyche, despite her grip on actual reality being tenuous at best, Tiona laughed a soft, sultry laugh and stepped forward, to put arms around him as he knelt. Part of her wished that she’d have done this more demurely, that she’d had the chance to stutter out her affections for him under open, starry skies as they travelled the vast expanses of Norvrandt’s lands. “So you weren’t the only one keeping a secret,” she admitted. “Are we both so hopeless?”  
  
He’d let out a keening sound when she’d embraced him, still on his knees like a zealous Ishgardian supplicant at confession, pressing his face into the well-worn leather that covered her thighs and breathing shakily against her, hands braced against the back of her knees, not yet daring to stand. Thoughts of what all of this would be like, if he’d ever gained the courage to tell her, had flitted through Urianger’s head for a long time--and especially during his long stay at the First, before she’d arrived--but the feel of her own hands idly carding through his hair and the ever-present scent of gun oil and something citrusy from her was something he had never considered to be so intoxicating. 

It wasn’t that he figured Tiona to be larger than life--certainly she was the Warrior of Light, the Champion of Eorzea, but they’d spoken enough in the past that he knew of the mundanities of her life before meeting him and the Scions; she had once been a competent military officer living in a jungle--but he hadn’t counted on how utterly sensual being this close to her was. A privilege, to be certain, and he had dared lie to her like a fool. He’d come clean, of course, and he knew the Echo had bestowed upon her the whole picture, but the shame he felt was not so easily brushed aside. “Wilst thou forgive me for _that_ as well?”

Tiona combed through his soft white hair a few moments longer, and then her gloved fingers brushed against his shoulder, trailing down his arm and gripping his elbow firmly, pulling Urianger to his feet. “Aye. For all of it. I saw what you did. And why. I’m not certain I’d have done it any differently, truth be told.” She took a deep breath, nostrils flaring and the tip of her nose twitching as she watched him stand. “But did you _mean_ what you said?”  
  
He rose, a bit unsteadily, but smiled down at her. “Every word.”  
  
Another peal of sultry laughter left the rava. “So you are still under my command?”  
  
It was enough to make him tremble on the spot, and he closed his eyes, nodding, unsure if the sudden, unbidden heat in his face was the heat of perpetual daylight or if Tiona was actually making him blush. “If that is thy wish.”

“You’ll stay with me tonight.” The leather of her gloves creaked a little as she cupped his chin, turning his face toward hers, and brushed her plush lips against his, the action as brief and ethereal as it was deliberate and promising.

There was a desirous fire peeking through the rapidly dissipating anger he saw in her eyes, and Urianger was caught off-guard for a minute before he let out a low chuckle. “Gladly.”

\--

At first, they lingered at the table in her Pendants room, the shutters drawn and the lamps turned down to give the illusion of nighttime. There were only amenities for one and Tiona had no desire to announce to the whole city that she’d taken _this_ man to her room, and so she’d grabbed the goblet on the table, uncorked the wine bottle that was kept there and poured a glass. Taking a healthy swig from it, she passed it to Urianger, to whom she'd offered the sole chair, before sitting herself on the edge of the table.  
  
“Thou art,” he said, smiling over the rim of the cup before taking a long, pensive drink, “choosing to be rather secretive.”  
  
“I prefer to think of it as getting you all to myself before the others learn that this is where you can be found.” She took another deep breath through her twitching nose and one of her ears flicked back. “...that is to say, if you end up _wanting_ to stay again. I’d like to be able to promise you things, but with everything--everything being the way it is, I don’t think I can.”

He took a long look at her, and while the exoticism of blue hair and those unique leponine features of hers were certainly captivating, Urianger could not deny that she looked exceptionally tired. He was now wholly relieved of _his_ burden of knowledge and could now see that she bore each and every other one, and he wished there was something more, something _practical_ , that he could do to take hers away. He knew too that half their motivation was the inexorable pressure of time. For the moment, he said nothing, merely nodding, his eyes focused on her with the sort of intent gaze he usually reserved for his books.

She ran a hand across her face, sighing. “I am too frightened to speak of the future. It’s all so--uncertain. I will not lie to you and tell you it’s all going to be alright, because I don’t know--I can’t guarantee this won’t be the last time you’re here and we--we--”

“We have but tonight to make our intent known.” He placed the cup on the table and leaned back in his chair, motioning to her. "As much as is possible for my speech to allow, I would speak with thee plainly."

All at once, her vision cleared. She knew it to be wholly temporary, but for the moment, as she regarded him with mounting desire, the Light seemed to cease its struggle within her. "I saw it." Tiona leaned over to pull her boots off and toss them into the far corner of the room. Then the gloves, finger by finger, followed by her heavy gambison. She was still decent, albeit with only a flimsy hempen shift as a top, and she haphazardly tucked it back into her trousers before climbing into his lap. "And I felt what you felt." 

"Thou didst," he conceded, an excited gasp leaving his lips as she settled against him, rattling the myriad of chains he wore on his own person. "Nonetheless, permit me my moment." His hands found her wide hips and his fingers dug into her skin as he continued speaking. "Thou hath been… a preoccupation of mine for some time, and most assuredly not in thy capacity as the Warrior. We may speak later of affection, and know that mine for thou be great--wouldst thou simply be satisfied to know that my most immediate desire is to bed thee? As thou sayest, time is not something we have an abundance of."

"Aye," she agreed, "aye, it does satisfy me. And I hope--" A pause, and she shifted in place, her hands atop his. Her fingernails were long, growing to a natural point--akin to claws, though clearly hastily filed down, mostly uneven and dull, scratching against his knuckles just enough to serve as a reminder that she was there, "--I hope _you_ will satisfy me, too. And not just with _words_."

Urianger laughed at that, the sound genuine and not at all as heavily considered like it would have been outside of the room, and reared up to deal her a slow, hungry kiss, his long-fingered, elegant hands moving to ease the hem of her shift out of her waistband, and in so doing brushed against the fluff of blue fur at the base of her spine. Tiona gasped against his lips, grasping at the front of his robes and shifting further forward, back arching. 

He took advantage of the new angle to free her from the shift, tossing it to the side and arching a brow in mild disappointment to find her breasts bound in a thick wrap of silk. "How utterly _demure_ ," he whispered, his tone dry but his voice thick with need as he ran fingers down and across the expanses of her dusky skin. He knew her to be a practical woman; all that leaping about into battle necessitated the garment, but he wished he could just tear it from her--

And then she did it her damn self. 

It took him by surprise for a moment; Urianger drew back slightly, _staring_ at her newly exposed form. Tiona was curvaceous in all the right places, strong in the arms and core, and _exactly_ the way he'd imagined her to be when he'd struggled to sleep, sequestered away in Il Mheg before her arrival. She cast the silk away and lifted herself, framing his face in her hands, looking him straight in the eye with a soldier's steely resolve. "I'm not," she complained, a small smile playing at her lips, which was soon mirrored on his. "And you know that."

His hands drew around her torso and up to cup her breasts, his thumbs flicking against her nipples with the same grace and deliberation he would use to rifle through a card deck. The smile on his face broadened into a full on grin when he felt her tense, tremble (right down to her nose, which twitched as she drew breath), and then she pressed herself to him, nuzzling at his neck. The sensation of her still-twitching nose against the side of his jaw was oddly endearing--perhaps because it was one of the few things he hadn't imagined repeatedly in his mind. He found comfort in the fact that there were still surprises to be had, that his own brain hadn’t turned this tryst into something unattainable before it had even begun.  
  
Though all those fevered thoughts of his now seemed hardly necessary; after all, here they were. Here Urianger was with the taste of words he’d only had the fortitude to say here, now, in the wake of both her forgiveness and her eventual death, lingering in his mouth. They were bitter with regret that he hadn’t done this before everything became so complex. For the moment, not even the taste of her lips could rid him of it, even if she was so close and even if he yearned for her. The weight of _time_ was crashing in on him--  
  
Here they were. It was an altogether too-brief moment of clarity, and he stopped toying with her breasts to simply take her up in his arms and rest there. “Thine expedience in this matter is,” he said, swallowing thickly, feeling her fingertips now darting about his robe, as though trying to get it off of him, the loud jingling of his accoutrements now overtaking the sound of their husky whispers and hitching breaths, “most appreciated.”  
  
Tiona fumbled a few seconds longer and then sat back, still perched on his lap. “And your godsdamned outfit is in my way. I've half a mind to rip it off.” Part of her wanted him to beg her to do it; an even darker and more frightening part of her wondered why she would ask for permission at all. The Light within her was apparently calm for now, but another, less world-shattering force was brewing within.

She could fight the Light, but she could not (and did not care to) fight this _want_.

He grinned up at her with unabashed desire. “Do as thou wilt with it. I am, of course, at thy command.”  
  
She gripped the dark fabric, balling it up in each hand and, with a controlled but vicious wrench, she pulled. The sound of it parting was rather loud and it echoed slightly off of the room’s vaulted ceiling, and yet she barely heard it--

Her dulled claws trailed along his skin as she kept pulling, and pulling, tearing a split down the front of his robe down to his navel, her eyes taking in the toned expanse of his fair skin, already glistening with sweat. She could _smell_ him: flowers, and book glue, and pixie dust for all she knew and for how heady she found it. Her palms pushed the tatters out of the way, off his shoulders and down to his waist, the golden chains and celestial pendants still in place. Tiona was faced with what she'd denied herself until now; and as she tore clothing from him like he was a long anticipated Starlight gift, she glanced up into his golden eyes, somewhat relieved to see him staring back at her, fully present in the moment. "You are," she whispered, palming his chest and grinning at how he arched toward her when she dug her claws in, just a little, "very beautiful."

"I--" Urianger, for once in his life, had few words to offer; her lack of hesitation and the gentle raking of claws across his skin seeming to leave him with nothing to say, only a growing list of things to _do._ He pulled her close, his long arms looping under her thighs, and stood up from the chair, holding her tightly against him for the handful of strides it took to cross the room and gently lower her onto the bed.

The time to _talk_ had evidently passed; he stood at the side of the bed, stepping out of his ruined robes, leaving a messy pile of cloth and chains on the floor. He turned to face her, a grin of joy on his face while he tinkered with the clasps and closures of his jewelry, and watched her wriggle atop the covers as she slid out of her trousers. 

He noticed the absence of smallclothes; beneath the trousers there was nothing except more of her wonderful, dark skin and the thatch of dark blue hair between her sturdy thighs. The sight of her like that, so casually nude, caught his attention, and now he could neither conceal nor downplay how utterly hard he had been the whole time. 

Not that she would have wanted him to, judging by the way her wide red eyes were taking him in. She rose slightly, holding herself up on her elbows, watching. Her initial assessment of him hadn't been too far off the mark; he was _very_ appealing to look at, slender through his middle as elezen were wont to be, a little long in the limbs and, Tiona realized with a knowing smirk, certainly on the generous side of well-endowed. Everything about Urianger was, just as she'd told him, beautiful. 

She arched an eyebrow, and shifted sideways on the bed. "Come here," she whispered, lifting a hand to motion toward him. 

He laced his fingers through hers and gave her hand a squeeze, finally crawling atop the covers. For a moment he began to settle down beside her, but then he shook his head. "We haven't the time," he all but gasped, the shallowness of his breathing now also apparent, "and I need--"

She laughed her sultry laugh and eased herself back down in the pillows, parting her thighs and tugging at his hand, directing him to settle between them. "I know," she said, her voice hitching as he hovered over her, pressing kisses against her jawline before moving south, scooting himself down a little to lay his head between her breasts, as though to savour the feel of his skin against hers. “I need it, too.”

He took a deep breath, taking her in: the smoothness of her skin, the frantic beating of her heart which he could have sworn matched his, that light citrus-metal smell-- all of it, all of _her_ , in his arms, and for a moment he sought to savour it. He lifted his head to glance up at her, and she was still grinning, though her face went slack and her body taut when he cradled a breast in his hand and leaned over to slowly trace a circle around her nipple with his tongue, before drawing it into his mouth and sucking gently, golden eyes now seemingly locked on her face. She was a sight to behold, especially the way she arched up against him, her hips bucking up against his. Letting her breast drop from his mouth, the nipple now taut and firm and _glistening,_ he moved to put an arm underneath her. "Thou art truly exquisite," he all but growled before switching his careful attention to the other side. 

The Light had long since been pushed aside for now and posed precious little imminent threat, but what Tiona couldn't control was the pleasure his ministrations dealt her-- practically levinbolts straight down her spine, leaving her shaking and soaked and incoherent. She lay there with her head thrown back, ears almost folded against the pillows, hands reaching blindly to gain purchase in soft, silvery hair. Maybe it was Urianger's apparent expertise; maybe it was the fact that this might be her last time ever, with anyone; maybe she was seeking any sort of relief for her soul-- but after a few passes and with him pausing between each to loquaciously extol her virtues, she couldn't fight the rising tide within her any further. She pitched forward, blinking hazily at him, and saw his eyes still on her face, a knowing grin just visible-- and fell to pieces, fruitlessly rocking against him, moans and gasps falling from her lips. 

She was still in the throes of it when, with a deceptively graceful movement, he laid her back down, took hold of her hips, and entered her with one decisive stroke, every ilm of his by now aching prick pushing between her folds until he was completely hilted. 

And in the midst of it all Urianger found his voice again. 

"If thine eyes should never open again," he murmured, lying close against her, nuzzling at her neck, "twould be this moment I wish they beheld last." With a tremulous gasp, now buried in a snug warmth he'd only dreamed about for moons and moons, he began to work against her, slender hips pushing forth as deeply as he could and drawing back in slow, languid strokes. 

Every one of them sent Tiona reeling, but it was his sentiment-- that he would give her _this_ , affection and solace, climax and relief-- that in the inevitable end he hoped she could remember them together, that brought tears to her eyes, and she moved to hide her face against his shoulder, ashamed that they fell at all while he kept her on the pleasurable edge of safe oblivion. 

But he stopped her, lifting a hand to cup her chin, and as he continued to fuck her deeply, deliciously, and _completely,_ his inquisitive golden eyes did not stray from hers. "As thou hath said to me before, 'tis acceptable to feel what thou wilt, in the face of the insurmountable--"

She shook her head, her powerful thighs closing around his hips, writhing beneath him and trying to move with him, to match his deceptively powerful thrusts. "I feel _good,_ " she whispered, the last word trailing off into wordless keening as he took hold of her hips, leaning back with a grin at her affirmation. Urianger moved quicker, then, putting his weight into her, gritting his teeth slightly as she shuddered around his prick. 

"It's so good," she reiterated, once again lost in the sensation of levin in her veins, blotting out any thoughts of the morrow, of the stakes of it all; all there was now was _this_ and _him_ and how badly Tiona _wanted_ it-- "You're so good-- I can't--" And she was on her way again, climax rolling through her in rolling waves. 

It caught him wholly off guard, the suddenness and intensity of her pleasure, and something base awoke in him. He leaned against her once more, kissing her softly on the lips while pounding into her, intent on prolonging her clear satisfaction. He was smitten, and she was perfect, clinging to him, accepting everything he gave; and the universe shifted as he, too, came closer and closer to the precipice--

And as she screamed his name, growing tighter and wetter around him, it was like he witnessed the birth of that same universe. He would not keep any secret from her; he had promised her that and he could not ever deny her what she was due. That much he swore he could see writ out in that brief, ecstatic glimpse into infinity.  
  
And he finally - _finally_ \- brought truth to the fragmented memory he knew she’d seen.

"Tiona," her name was a hoarse and strangled whisper on his lips as he spilled into her, "I love you."

**Author's Note:**

> but I told a bad lie!  
> doesn't matter, had sex
> 
> she was just about to die!  
> doesn't matter, had sex
> 
> the whole world's gonna end  
> doesn't matter, had sex
> 
> she was practically a sin eater!  
> STILL COUNTS
> 
> a big shout out to--  
> Chaemera for the invaluable Shakespearean Consultation  
> my best buddy DT Maxwell (Draya) for holding my hand throughout the slow descent into madness that was getting this writte and also the first pass  
> my new friends in the Book Club for not only indulging, but ENCOURAGING all this thirst


End file.
